"Bread and Water, Wine and Oil" by Arch. Meletios Webber. was recommended to me more than once, so I ordered it. Almost as soon as I found it on my doorstep, I started thumbing through it. That's how I read books. Can't seem to handle going from beginning to end, so I bounce around.
After reading a few pages I came across the same message I'm finding in the other Orthodox books I'm studying--and it's a challenging one.
Stop living in your mind, and bring your mind into your heart.
This is hard for me. My mind is extremely active. It loves to analyze and make sense of things. Even with the TV on to distract it, it's still going going going like the Energizer Bunny. If I try to calm it down, I get very restless, and then negative thoughts pour in. Fearful thoughts pour in. The what-ifs and the existential questions start plaguing me. This is why I can't bring myself to toss my TV set. For now, it's preserving my sanity.
Taking the mind into the heart frightens me. I don't want to know what's there. Something scares me about going to that place--the heart. But like the rest of us, I have to face down my fears at some point.
Like I said, this new path that I'm on is 180 degrees the opposite of what American culture teaches. It is definitely counterculture, in every way possible. Sometimes I fear that it will be impossible to make the jump. My life would have to change in so many ways, and everything I believe, think and value is up for question and reevaluation. It is not a journey for the squeamish. But for now, I'm sticking with it.
Fear is of the mind, Carrie. Don't be afraid. Living in the present helps banish the mind's games. You'll enjoy that book. Are you going to be taking Father C's class this Thursday? I'm really looking forward to it!
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure I'll be in his class. The first few pages had me going, "Huh?" and I realized that I'll definitely need his input on this book.
ReplyDeleteKeep going in the book and really pay close attention to what the author is saying. He will make more sense as he goes along.
ReplyDeleteOkay, thanks. :)
ReplyDeleteI was trying to read and watch TV at the same time--not a good combination for any book.
You also need to read this e-book. ;)
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